


If We Could

by orphan_account



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Aftermath of Violence, Angst, Implied Relationships, Implied/Referenced Abortion, M/M, Mpreg, Teen Pregnancy, Unplanned Pregnancy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-04-28
Updated: 2015-04-28
Packaged: 2018-03-26 00:55:44
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,630
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3831163
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Stiles is a logical person. Beyond his sometimes outlandish ideas and slight preference for the outrageous, he's a very rational person and usually his emotions are easy to put aside. But this time, the churning in his guts that's more than morning sickness and the burn behind his eyes is harder to ignore. He has to make a decision and while the one he makes hurts, it's rational, it's logical and he doesn't regret it. His only regret is the circumstances under which he has to choose.</p>
            </blockquote>





	If We Could

His first thought is that it just can't be right. No higher power in the world would think it'd be a good idea to bring a child into the lives of people currently fighting a supernatural war, but Stiles realizes that's not quite true. Children have been born into horrific circumstances all over the world, all throughout history. The problem is how they cope in order to live, what they sacrifice and the end result of a hard life that sometimes gets better, sometimes doesn't. He knows there is a statistical basis for the cycle of poverty and it seems cruel and ignorant to give a short life that is devoid of joy to a child, a human, when at another time you could give them one all that they needed and deserved. And while there is love available (he knows there would never be a shortage of love), he couldn't say there wouldn't be times where there was a shortage of time, energy, money, security, patience, basic necessities, and most starkly safety.

And that's why Stiles had to say no. 

He originally gives himself three days to think about it and in those three days, he nearly dies, They both nearly die, more than once. And when he says They nearly die, he doesn't mean he chokes on curly fries or They nearly avoid getting into a car wreck after some idiot runs a red light, or Scott embarrasses him so much he thinks his ears will be a deep, shameful red forever. He means that he was almost beheaded by an assassin, and They were beaten to a pulp by hunters that wanted information about the True Alpha, and and that's just in one day. He thought for sure the fetus would be lost after so much running and fighting and stressing, thinking with watery eyes that fate had taken the decision out of his hands but Deaton confirms that all is fine thanks to Stiles' plushy insides and maybe just a little bit of magic. But Stiles is a logical person. Beyond his sometimes outlandish ideas and slight preference for the outrageous, he's a very rational person and usually his emotions are easy to put aside. But this time, the churning in his guts that's more than morning sickness and the burn behind his eyes is harder to ignore. He has to make a decision and while the one he makes hurts, it's rational, it's logical and he doesn't regret it. His only regret is the circumstances under which he had to choose.

He makes an appointment when the bruises on his face are still fresh. The receptionist is hesitant on the phone when he says he needs the procedure as soon as possible but by Deaton's estimates, he's running out of time. He has to act before things escalate so he begs and argues until the appointment is set for the day after tomorrow. After he hangs up, the anxiety festering in the back of his mind gets worse due to a text from Them about hunters and threats and reinforcements. He's currently benched and not much use so he tries to relax knowing the new home security system is armed, tries to recover from his injuries on the couch because his room is still torn up from his kidnapping but he doesn't change the channel fast enough to miss Juno's oh so famous line of "Your baby has fingernails!". After that his palms sweat, his heart rate stays at an unhealthy, hyper-pace because in another place in time... But that's not the case and now the only thing that comforts him is the appointment. He has a date now for when everything can return to the only slightly better level of hell it was before. He'll skip school that day because what's another missed day, he thinks. He'll go alone because he can't bare to have one more person try to smother him with silent pity. Then, when it's all over, he'll drive himself home and... Maybe he doesn't deserve to mourn, since this decision is all on him but at this point, their survival is unconfirmed. Stiles knows that if he's physically out of commission for 7 months, if He and the pack are mentally out of commission for 7 months, if he allows himself to be a weakness, a walking target...he can't.

So he's forcefully calm until the morning he's scheduled to go in. He shakes and he sits in his car for nearly ten minutes before he gets the courage to start the engine. He drives on autopilot to the next city over, parking and then re-parking just to stall a little more. He goes inside but freezes in the doorway. No one else is waiting and thankfully no one is picketing; he doesn't know what he'd do if someone was spitting on him or yelling at him. The receptionist, a different one if he's judged correctly based on her voice, is welcoming enough. She hesitates, however, when he's signed in and done indicating his reason for being there; suddenly she's a little less friendly. Ignoring the way he grips the counter, she offers to refer him to a therapist and give him another week to reconsider. When he's silent, she presses on about religious organizations that are liberal enough that they would offer someone like him financial assistance and help him find his way (his dark, messy clothes), about families who would be happy to take his child, about programs for victims of abuse (his bruises) or suffering from addiction (his pallor and weight) and...He thinks it's appalling at first but his anger cools because she's trying to help him. She's trying to act like she knows better, like he simply missed the simple answer to all his complex problems. Maybe if he was just some scared, pregnant teenager whose only care was passing Junior year, he would find a way to appreciate it but what about people like him who are dealing with more? She can't possibly imagine what his life is like or their lives either so why try? Why can't she find it in her to be compassionate to another human being and understand that while this decision is not one he came to easily, he made it knowing all the facts, but the supposed ones she came across from one, judgmental glance. When he continues to stare at her, she sputters out that she'll speak to a technician then and invites him to sit. He doesn't.

Twenty minutes pass and his fake name is announced. He can't get his legs to work at first and he forgets how to breathe with the receptionist still watching with pity...but the nurse, an older woman who touches his shoulder and guides him gently, doesn't question him or preach. She has a motherly quality about her as she talks about the blasted AC always being on when he shakes, about traffic along the freeway on her way in to explain to his unasked question of why he waited so long, about there decade-long shortage of medium sized nitrite gloves as she pulls on a pair of over sized ones... It makes him wish that his mother was around, that she was here to tell him he was doing the right thing but all he has is logic, background noise from a chatty nurse, and that has to be enough. The door shuts heavily behind him and the only thing holding him together is the truth that he's doing the right thing.

I can't. Not now.

And three days later, he tackles Isaac out of the way of an arrow which sends them tumbling down a ravine. He breaks three ribs but the two of them live. And a month later he's shot in the shoulder by an unknown perpetrator in a black SUV, saved by Them who had happened to be in the passenger seat as he was getting gas. Two months after that, he's nearly drowned by a siren that the pack had to confront due to 17 fishermen suddenly dying in various boat crashes. The next month is spent trying to negotiate with faeries who cause all sorts of mischief, like turning Derek into a slobbering, feral guard dog and making Scott deaf, dumb and blind. It takes two weeks for the curses, three on each wolf, to run their course by which time Stiles is so exhausted he's pulled over for supposedly driving under the influence. He's just glad they didn't search his car and see the bloody bat in the back or the unregistered glock in his glove compartment. Three more months have gone by before he even thinks about it. He's once more benched due to a blown disc and two fractured legs from some very "friendly" ogres. He palms his flat stomach, still a little thinner than he should be, and it scares him that he could forget so easily. A sobs wells up in his throat but it doesn't hurt as much now that time has proven how unprepared he and They would have been. 

He wheels himself towards the living room, several new blood stains on the couch and carpet, and a new bay window letting in the afternoon light after it was busted out a week before (he still occasionally finds glass in the carpet). He winces as he readjusts his left leg, a knife hidden in the cast just in case the peaceful meeting with a pack from Oregon turns out to be not so peaceful. He can't imagine a reality in which he had let it happen, and while he wishes things could have been different, they weren't. 

But someday, things may be different. Someday, They could.

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't seen a pro-choice mpreg fic so here's one. Unbeta'd. Inspired by Maude's Dilemma.
> 
> Disclaimer: I don't own Teen Wolf and this fic is not meant to upset anyone. Those faced with an unplanned pregnancy must do what is right for them. It is not our place to judge since abortion is a respectable option, as are adoption and birth.


End file.
